Hey man sorry I got all grabby
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
