Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize