Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
