This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
