my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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