What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
