I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He literally asked permission to hit on me
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
