No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Randomize
