The maid of honor just puked.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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