Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
