your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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