Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
