I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
