Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
