I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
