For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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