umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize