So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Michael Bay diarrhea
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
