I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
