i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
