they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
