You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
