I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
