drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
