do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
