Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I forget how to act sober
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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