What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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