I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
