Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Boobs are out for the taking
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
