I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
