On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
