he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
