Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
