i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
