My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
