maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
