Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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