try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
