You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
