my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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