i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
