Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
