I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
