Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
