After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You may now shotgun with the bride
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
