Sry I called you an 8
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
