From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
