I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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