I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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