Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize