he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
