You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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