Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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