She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
