Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
