roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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