We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
