Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
