It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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